#i need every marvel show on dvd

[spider-swift]

when i was younger i was obsessed with this youtuber that used to make videos covering lost media, so like someone on reddit would remember a cartoon they watched when they were younger but nobody else recognised, and they’d ask for help trying to find it. and people would go on MASSIVE DEEP DIVES looking for these things and this youtuber covered it all. and that obsession has manifested itself recently because of streaming services and their tendency to take down streaming exclusive movies (that were, of course, never released in physical form.) I have spent so much money on dvds recently because i absolutely need a way to access the things i enjoy without the risk of them being straight up deleted and inaccessible forever. this is a long winded way for me to say, if you like something, GET A DVD. IF YOU CAN. own it!!!

[alanaartdream]

Ok so my copy of dreamworks trolls band together little golden book has just arrived today

(Don’t worry I’m not gonna post anything spoilers on here I want everyone to watch the movie 🍿 like I’m planning on doing)

Now I’ve seen some posts saying it’s ok to pirate this animated film because dreamworks is a big animation company

That is the lamest excuse I’ve ever herd

Dreamworks isn’t Disney; it’s not got the funding to buy out other animation companies like Disney been doing; it doesn’t own a a bunch of parks based on it’s movies/ shows all over the world; plus dreamworks pays their writers/ animators/ artists for the work they do

Dreamworks started out as a group of animators who Disney screwed over after treasure planet movie was made by them (witch is a very underrated flim) ((also it’s what I’ve herd from a lot of animation fans have told me about dreamworks animation history))

Look I get not being able to afford to see a movie or it never being available in your part of the world so that’s why you pirated I get that excuse but if you can afford it and have the time and can get it on dvd then don’t be a cheapskate go pay for it but if you can’t I get it no hate to you

It’s the cheapskates people who like to put every animated film company as like Disney when no the others are not Disney in fact Disney the only one right now who can afford for many people to pirate their films/ movies/ shows right now

I mean they own stars wars and marvel AND Pixar

They we’re it’s competition and they just bought them over so that they can do whatever it is they want

The competition they have now is studio ghibli: dreamworks; and maybe Sony animation

Too often Disney gets away with how they handle their artists/writers/animators and even it’s actors (Disney has a lot of skeletons in their closet and not talking about jack skeleton here; I’m talking about the stuff alot of people like to ignore and just say oh it’s *Disney* we’re just gonna ignore it because it’s them)

Also if you think pirating doesn’t effect a movie series

Let me remind you of dreamworks Rise of the Guardians (you know the movie with Jack Frost the character so many like to ship with Disney frozen Elsa character? You know him)

That movie cost a lot to make but it didn’t make enough for it to have it’s story continue; they were planning on fleshing out Jack Frost’s story more to go with the books the movie was based on but being as soo many had pirated that movie the year it came out they couldn’t get the money together for that so those plans were cancelled

Because it was pirated to kingdom come

It was at a time before streaming services were a thing and people didn’t want to wait for it to finish being aired AND couldn’t wait for it to come to dvds either so any ideas they had to continue the story got cancelled this no more story of teenage Jack Frost or even about night light (character from the books) or anything

So look I get it if you can’t afford it and it’s not coming to your part of the world so you pirated the movie but could you at least wait until after the movie been out in and makes it to dvd before you pirate it?

And if you can afford it; have the time AND can get the dvds AND it’s showing where you are

DO NOT BE A CHEAPSKATE

Go pay for it to see it it could all the support it can get

This isn’t a Disney film that can afford to lose a few dollars

If you want trolls to last as long as my little pony; transformers; Care Bears; kung fu panda 🐼 and teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 🐢 have done then

WE NEED TO SUPPORT it however we can (within reason; don’t make yourself broke for it ok thank you)

Just don’t let yourselves turn into poor Floyd’s captors who are killing him for their own gain not caring that they are killing him for their own selfish gains

If you can’t afford ok I get it but please be patient and don’t post spoilers for others who are planning to see the movie maybe try to wait until after the movie comes to dvd; also if you can check out the books while you wait if you can

Because we all want this movie to do well

We all don’t want a repeat of what happened to rise of the guardians movie to happen to trolls band together ok

[seerofmike]

Mike's Media Medley--December 2024

welp, the time has come for me to round up my top 7 favorite movies of 2024 and the top 7 games i played in 2024, but before i do that i have to go over every last thing i watched and played for the very first time this december 2024!

Movies/Shows: Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 1 (1997), Lars and the Real Girl (2007), Nosferatu and Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (2024)

Games: Half-Life (1998), Game Dev Tycoon (2013), Dorfromanik (2021), Trombone Champ (2022), Wildfrost (2023), Sorry We're Closed and Marvel Rivals (2024)

movies/shows:

Buffy the Vampire Slayer season 1 (1997)

this show is so fucking corny. however, i was a supernatural fan in middle school and i owned seasons 1-5 on dvd, so im used to goofy cheesy supernatural shows on the CW with terrible dialogue and CGI and jokes on you im into that shit

i am greatly endeared by willow and giles, buffy and cordelia are fun and xander is there. the master was also enjoyable and angel ... i can see him growing on me.

overall definitely cheesy and very 90s but i had fun

67.5/100

Lars and the Real Girl (2007)

so i think my enjoyment of this movie was hampered by being given the wrong expectations, someone told me this movie was hilarious so i watched it expecting it to be like. a comedy. and definitely some parts were intended as humorous but overall i just thought the movie was kind of depressing and i wasn't prepared for that so i think when i got out of it my feelings about it were affected by those expectations but i don't really want to watch it again because i didn't necessarily enjoy watching it

giving it a very tentative

55/100

Nosferatu

man do i got shit to say about nosferatu

first off, it's gorgeous. BEAUTIFUL cinematography, many clever shots and transitions and the way scenes are lit to be black and white but i don't think they're using a filter necessarily it's just been shot and then tuned in post-production to be this cold *almost* black and white color and ugh its gorgeous. bill skarsgard did great and there's this very oppressive atmosphere throughout the film that i think it mostly sustains well.

ok now onto the shit i hate

there is so much. moaning and whimpering and gyrating in this movie, especially from lily rose depp who i could not take seriously at all because this poor lady's script and direction was kind of atrocious. my audience audibly laughed multiple times at scenes where she was supposed to be in harrowing distress because it's just so strangely over the top and it feels like she was told to act like she was in a conjuring movie, a movie with a VERY different atmosphere than this one.

also, i understand that historically vampire stories have been used to convey metaphors / allegories / stories about human sexuality, and that art making you uncomfortable is in fact a valid form of being -- however there was just this horrendously icky feeling i had the whole time watching this movie. like the narrative to me seemed to be saying she was assaulted as a child but that she secretly, like, needs him and her husband cannot pleasure her the way orlok has and i FEEL like its supposed to be framed as this darkly empowering thing at the end when she dies in embrace with him having 'won' by . giving him exactly what he wanted. and the whole time throughout the movie lily rose depp has been moaning and whimpering and we get to see her titties and its all framed in this sensual manner and i was in the theater goingam i fucking insane what is happening

i dont really know what to rate this because like i said. INCREDIBLY competently made, will probably get some technical noms and even a few wins at the oscars but god i had this disgusting slimy feeling watching it

40/100

and that is ALL for the technical side of things

Sonic the Hedgehog 3

i have been waiting 20 years of my life ever since i was a fuckin. toddler watching my dad play sa2 on his dreamcast. for shadow to being a movie. and hes finally in a movie on the big screen and he TAKES A BACKSEAT TO JIM CARREY SHENANIGANS AGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

with the other 2 movies i could handle it. i was like fine ok i guess. this puts parents' butts in seats.i even liked sonic 2 because knumckles. i love him.

but then this movie gave double jim carrey and im sorry i do not careeeee about him or his style of humor not when shadow the hedgehog is here imagine how much better and more narratively satisfying shadow's heel turn at the end couldve been if we ha d more time to develop he and sonics relationships instead of having the robotniks do a dance number midway through UGGGHHHH

super carried by shadow and knuckles and agent stone. last 20 mins of the movie and also shadow's backstory were the best part

60/100

video games:

Dorfromantik (2021)

this was a cute little puzzle game, i haven't revisited it since starting it but ill probably be playing it on geforce now when my 3rd job starts back up, its low commitment but incredibly satisfying to connect all the sides together

Game Dev Tycoon (2013)

one night i played this game for like 4 straight hours in a trance trying to become the best rpgmaker studio in the world i think once you reach 'the end' youve kind of exhausted all your options but once i finally figured out the right balance of everything and did math to squeak out the best possible games that shit was HITTING

Half-Life (1998)

i couldnt finish the tutorial. genuinely. like there was a part of the tutorial where i was supposed to do a long jump and i physically could not do it. i changed my keybinds and everything. i googled it and got a bunch of different answers about how to achieve it. none of them worked. i gave up

Marvel Rivals (2024)

i've had to take a break from playing games with tons of flashing moving lights and shit because i just recovered from a concussion and let me tell you marvel rivals is the game i missed the most guys its so fun. im the world's worst rocket/mantis/winter soldier. im coming for you. armed and dangerous. again. again. again

Sorry We're Closed (2024)

this is a game ive been intrigued by but unfortunately i got distracted by marvel rivals. i DO mean to go back to it though, it has a very clear style and vibe its going for and i think its really succeeding. the art and aesthetic are really working for me. its enough to make me forgive the fact that the characters are british

Trombone Champ (2022)

winner of game that hurt my wrist the most 2024 and also my stomach from laughing so hard because the trombone is a deeply unserious instrument

Wildfrost (2023)

i really like this game's art and sound design. the cards have this bouncy sort of 3d effect and the sound effects for everything are so satisfying i had to google if this was originally a mobile game designed to get you to spend money on it because it just has that ultra satisfying feel to it. like candy crush. if that makes sense

i dont think the gameplay loop has grabbed me quite yet but everything else about the experience is quite enjoyable!

[lethalknight]

Ethan Landry headcanons!

some general ethan headcanons, probably pre ghostface stuff, no spoilers!

i love my nerdy dork

warnings: none! all fluff

-he is oblivious but he really wishes he was not

-ethan is a gamer we all know it

-saw someone say he plays dark souls and i know damn well he does

-i could imagine ethan playing skyrim, resident evil, zelda, the last of us, the walking dead, detroit become human, final fantasy, pokémon etc.

-he has definitely played all the zelda games

-i can't imagine him playing competitive shooting games though

-for multiplayer games, he would always play with chad or get chad to play other games

-LOVES going to the arcade

-is a god at dance dance revolution

-his ddr partner is tara and they go all out!!!!

-sometimes a small crowd would gather to watch them

-nerd

-insanely in love with marvel, dc, and star wars (including the comics)

-other comics (or shows based from comics) i think he'd be into are invincible and the walking dead

-obviously collects comics

-collect other merchandise from those franchises and series

-collects figurines and funko pops

-since jack said he has adhd (like me) i want to add that to ethan!!

-absolutely loves it when he gets to talk/rant about his hyperfixations

-has a lot of "well actually ☝️" moments that their friend group, especially mindy, find very annoying

-he goes to the gym with chad, usually in the morning

-he was really close with quinn but when they started college, they kind of drifted but every now and then they would hang out

-chad and quinn always try to get ethan to try and talk to new people in hopes of getting into a relationship

-chad's his wingman, always hyping him up

-at times, girls (and boys) go up to ethan but he screws up a lot and makes a bad impression on them

-ethan does not like going to frat parties much, but figures he go to some anyway for the sake of "living up to the expectation" of his fellow peers and age group

-other times he'll go if chad and the gang are going

-and when he does attend frat parties, he doesn't drink or is at least sober because he knows he'll be the one driving his friends home

-a small hobby of his is drawing

-likes drawing art of characters from shows and series he likes

-as oblivious as he may be, if any of the girls need to talk to someone, they would go to ethan

-not for advice or anything, but just for someone to listen

-he isn't the best with words but through acts of kindness and reassurance, he tries to be there for his friends

-ethan also tries to be understanding when his friends are venting or going through something

-prefers math over english classes, he is good in his english classes but he finds math more interesting and easier

-loves building and collecting legos

-mostly collects star wars lego sets

-sometimes him and chad will build legos together as they talk or watch tv

-can actually cook, he's decent at it

-after a rough interaction with a girl that he tried to talk to, ethan felt self conscious about the way he dressed

-went to mindy and anika for help

-honestly he dresses pretty decently but occasionally he will wear a really nice outfit he liked when mindy and anika took him shopping

-when he's feeling down and needs someone to talk to, he usually goes to chad, quinn, or sam

-he has a hard time being vulnerable in front of people, even his friends

-but he's glad that his friends always assure him that they're there for him like he is for them

-is unintentionally funny

-on halloween he ALWAYS goes all out

-growing up he used to always match with quinn or richie

-but as they got older, both quinn and richie stopped dressing up with ethan :(

-really wants to go trick or treating but thought it was weird if he wasn't with a little sibling or relative to be with

-he stopped trick or treating after high school, thinking that people who gave out candy would think it's odd for someone his age to trick or treating

-i could see him collecting mixtapes, dvds, and vhs tapes

-into film and cinema in general

-either he tries to comment on stuff when watching movies or analyzes it all in his head (could make a whole essay about it if he wanted to)

-uses letterboxd

-ethan and mindy like talking about film and usually like to defend their opinions about it

-can binge watch a lot of movies or shows without getting burnt out

-although quinn and ethan are siblings, i can see mindy and ethan fighting like siblings do

that's all the headcanons i have for now! i am most likely going to make another one at some point. hope you all enjoyed this :)

[deadpool1763492]

Happy 20th birthday to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2003!

I remember around 15 years ago, when I was at the ripe age of 5-6 years old, someone gave me a TMNT DVD for my birthday. I wasn't exactly into action shows like that at the time and pretty much hated it, but my mom told me to give it a chance and put it on for my anyway. It was this show that made me realize just how much I love superheroes.

TMNT 2003 is something special. It's the most loyal show to the original Mirage comics, for one, with literal episodes taken directly from the pages themselves. Even the first lines of the show are from the first issue! Who can ever forget Leonardo's iconic line: "He's wrong. We're not wearing costumes." I still get shivers hearing the delivery of those sentences to this day.

And let's not forget that it was this iteration that basically confirmed the TMNT multiverse in dare I say the greatest turtle movie ever released yet: Turtles Forever. Because of that movie, we know that every past iteration and future iteration is connected to one another, and, whenever one version of the story ends, we have the hope in our hearts that it might not actually be the last we'll see of those specific turtles, whether it be in future references, actual crossovers, or something else entirely.

And, of course, we can't forget that this was the first cartoon version of the turtles that apparently swore, albeit it only in some of the few comic issues of the show ever released.

Who doesn't love that? If you're a fan of 2003, by the way, you should definitely check out the comics they released of it. If not all of them, just check out issue #5. It's become one of my favorite comic books ever (of all time) just because of how absolutely raw it is. The comics really did not hold back at all.

Which, by the way, is true for the show, too! Who could ever forget iconic episodes like Same As It Never Was, which ended up literally scarring us as kids by showing a fascist, apocalyptic future that was supposedly indirectly Donatello's doing, where we had to watch three of our turtle boys literally die? I can never forget, at least. That episode gave me nightmares for a bit when I was a kid. Did I still end up watching it? Of course! I needed to see how the Shredder ended up getting defeated!

I could go on and on about this series (and I have, if you're someone I know in real life and are a victim of my ramblings of it), but I'll cut this short here for all of your sakes. I'll just end it with this: thank you, Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird— and 4Kids Entertainment—for giving us a show that would stick with me for so long. I don't know where I'd be without the teenage mutant ninja turtles. It's literally the show that became my gateway to Marvel! So, instead of arguing about which version is better than which, let's take today to celebrate these idiot turtle boys for what they are: an amazing, creative story that brings us all together with one universal truth: Things Change, but that may not always be a bad thing.

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day!

[asmoonlightthroughthepines]

8 Shows To Know Me

Thank you @maplefiasco for tagging me *months* ago 🙈 Do check her post for excellent shows recommendations!

If you see this post on your dash, please consider yourself (no-pressure) tagged, whether we’re in a follower, mutual or complete strangers situation :)

Coming up with "shows to know me" was more challenging that I thought? In the end I chose shows I have often rewatched and that never fail to cheer me up. In no particular order:

Remington Steele

This show is a delight and a half. For years growing up it was on channel 3 in France every summer, and every rewatch makes me feel like the happiest teenager. Expect RayBans and vintage cars, because this is 80s LA with an Old Hollywood, Spencer Tracy/Katharine Hepburn inspiration. Unfortunately it's become impossible to find in Europe/France, and my entire family laments this fact on a monthly basis.

The Newsroom

If you get one thing out of this post, it’s to give The Newsroom a try. Not everyone loves Sorkin, in fact several of my friends hate this show, but I LOVE it. It’s chaotic. It’s fast. It’s idealistic. Everyone is a genius at their job and an idiot in their personal life. And the cast! Emily Mortimer, Jeff Daniels and Sam Waterston are superb! Olivia Munn and Thomas Sadoski are spectacular! Dev Patel and David Harbour are delightful! And the supporting cast - Jane Fonda! Chris Messina! Terry Crews! BJ Novak! Only this show would make me use so many adjectives and exclamation marks.

Hart of Dixie

This is my guilty pleasure, “won’t tell people about it because they’ll think I’m a basic bitch" show. It’s super cozy, the clothes are great, the dudes are hot, there’s a pet alligator called Burt Reynolds, the folksy-country soundtrack is fun, everyone is nice and walks around the WBros PLL and Gilmore Girls lot fake southern town with a pastry and home-baked pie in hand, and nothing really bad ever happens. Truly the happiest of basic bitch shows.

The Marvelous Mrs Maisel

I ignored Mrs Maisel for years because I’m not a big stand up or 50s style person, but it turned out to be one of the shows that’s made me laugh the most in the history of shows. It’s funny, it’s warm and it does more for Jewish humour than most pieces of media (The Nanny is the exception) since Annie Hall’s Easter lunch scene. I didn’t care much for s4 (style really took over content for me) and s5 is.. well I just don’t know how they explain a lot of those choices there. But man, s1-2 is something I would (and will) happily rewatch on a regular basis.

Friends It’s not original, it's "90s diverse" but sue me. I’m old enough to have watched it with my siblings when it first came out (VHS, baby!) and it’ll never not feel cozy and fun. I won’t catch it on tv because ad breaks will reduce it to unfunny, memeable catchphrases, but every few years I’ll pop a couple of seasons in the dvd player (DVDs, baby!) and it’ll still make me laugh like it’s my first time watching it.

Arrested Development

Do I need to explain? Yes s4 was half good/half bad when it was released (and somehow made mostly bad when it was re-edited) and I pretend s5 doesn’t exist. But seasons 1-3 are the definition of perfect tv! And in case you didn’t know, Jason Bateman and Will Arnett host a podcast (along with Sean Hayes of Will and Grace) called Smartless; the episode with Tony Hale (Buster) as the guest had me in literal tears.

Chuck

There’s a scene where Chuck’s best friend Morgan says that he’s spent years devising a work system that allows him to do as little as possible at his job, and he’s not about to ruin that by accepting a promotion. My entire family quotes this on a regular basis. I have watched s1-3 at least half a dozen times and just typing that makes me want to watch it again. Love the music, the ridiculous spy adventures and the unhinged background characters. Also Chuck looks exactly like one of my high school best friends which makes it even funnier.

24

LOOK. I did not expect this show to take over my life the way it did, and tbh I don’t really have an 8th show that hits both “will rewatch this many times” and “makes me feel warm and happy”. So I went for the one that currently has 12 drafts sitting in my fic folder. It’s violent and ridiculous and is equally funny (see ridiculous) and angsty. It got me through the 2nd lockdown, on the edge of my seat while live texting all nearly ten seasons of it to friends. But watch s1-4 and tell me you’re normal about Tony x Michelle. I dare you.

[thedooms]

As someone with relatives who watched this god damned show, I feel the need to point out, with one simple sentence, HOW Ancient Aliens is racist. And while there is plenty more racist and wrong with it, this is my primary takeaway.

Ancient People are not allowed to just be smart.

It perpetuates the idea that ancient people were uncultured savages by making the claim that they COULDN’T have come up with their architectural marvels on their own. That two groups of people across the globe COULDN’T have come up with similar ideas by coincidence and intelligence, or even through chance meetings and shared ideas. Everyone knows that these things are white modern, and therefore ancient people are simply too uncivilized not advanced enough to have this knowledge.

It’s incredibly euro-centric, and whether or not by accident, reinforces the idea that all our technological advances as a species are ACTUALLY done by white providence, and that anyone of any other race who creates a beautiful building or something white people don’t understand HAS to be the result of some manner of divine or extraterrestrial blessing.

Ancient Aliens is not some “OH THERE’S MAGIC AND MYSTERY AND WHIMSY IN THE WORLD” show. It completely ignores DOCUMENTED EMPIRICAL FACTS in favor of selling gullible people lies and conspiracies so they can sell books, dvds, and other shit they don’t need. It has been exposed as lies and psuedoscience practically ever since it’s premiere.

Nearly every branch of science involved has lifted their heads out of their important work to tell you it’s bullshit and everyone who believes in it is either a peddler of lies or a conspiracy theorist.

To quote Archeaologist Kenneth Feder, and his book Frauds, Myths, and Mysteries: Science and Pseudoscience in Archaeology:

“I realize that for some of you I'm being mean, snarky, and inflexible on this topic. And you'd be right. But in the face of a program and, at its core, a philosophy that is based on assumptions that degrade and diminish the inherent human capacity to invent, create, build, cooperate, and rise to the occasion to solve great technological challenges, both in the present and in the past,[...] I maintain that meanness and inflexibility are entirely appropriate responses.“

So shut the fuck up.

It IS racist.

It IS stupid.

And if you fall for it, so are you.

a lot has been said about how ancient aliens stuff is racist, and that is true, but i think it's important that we remember ancient aliens stuff is also extremely extremely stupid. like yes if someone is into that stuff they're probably a racist, but they're definitely a moron.

[blast0rama]

I’m Sorry, But Things Cost Money

Sort of a rambling series of thoughts here, inspired by a post I saw over on Threads1.

I’m not going to link to the specific thread, but there was a trending post which boiled down to “Hey, remember 2013, when Netflix was $20, and you could stream everything?” It picked an ongoing nit in my brain when it comes to how people are reacting to streaming costs.

I will preface this rant with a few points:

Yes, Hollywood Accounting is weird

Yes, the executives at the companies who provide our entertainment are vastly overpaid

Yes, even some actors are overpaid2

I think it’s time that we make an effort to understand the costs of our entertainment. While movie budgets have bloated over the last decade, plus, the money is generally on screen. CG, practical effects, name actors, quality cinematographers and more. Not to mention the literal hundreds of other people who work on these films. The credits aren’t just for show, folks.

What ruined our understanding of these concepts is two fold:

The studios all chased what Netflix did

We devalued what this entertainment meant by flooding the market and calling it “content”3

Let’s look at what was prior to Netflix. The cable bundle. $100+ a month, the owners of the channels getting a carrier fee every month, plus whatever money they generate from television advertising. Not to mention the money generated from DVD sales, theatrical re-releases, and licensing their shows and movies to other networks.

Netflix shows up, and guess what? They pay licensing fees to studios! Sure, they’re all undervalued because “who’d want to watch TV on a computer”, but it’s found money.

Netflix grows. People start cutting the cord. Carrier fees aren’t as strong. Shrinking audiences mean less money for their ads. People stop buying discs. Who goes to the theater? Why should we license our work to someone else, when WE can be Netflix?

Now, let’s look at the things that a Warner Bros, a NBC Universal, a Disney, a Paramount then had to pay out to “join the club” with Netflix.

The infrastructure to launch and maintain their own streaming services

The money to buy back license rights from other networks or services to have their shows and movies on something they own

Also, they better be making brand new content for this service, and they need a LOT of it AND it better serve EVERY POSSIBLE AUDIENCE AROUND THE WORLD

And lets be sure to charge LESS than Netflix, too.

That’s how they end up spending literal billions. And losing literal billions.

And to do what? To follow the worldwide leader in this type of service, Netflix…a company that is only as big as it is because they were the first, and they’re the name, like Photoshop, Kleenex and Nintendo, that people think of when they think of their product. Even they’ve found the siren’s song of advertising revenue.

The creators of all these shows and movies? They used to get paid every time a disc was sold, or a movie was aired on television. Limited slots, limited availability. How do you make that work for libraries which are expected to have everything in perpetuity forever. What’s the math there look like?

That’s why the writers and the actors had their strike. To get the money they were deserved and weren’t getting.

Now you say, hey, wait! I’m not getting access to everything ever from these studios? Why can’t they just all be on Netflix? Why can’t I just pay one subscription and get everything, ever?

Ask musicians how Spotify, Tidal, Apple Music, et al. are working for them.

The Marvel Cinematic Universe crew, they’ll be fine. Just like Taylor Swift.

But what of the Wes Andersons, the David Lynches, and the future version of them to come? Would that be sustainable? Would these projects get green-lit?

We’re at a time where art needs to be valued more highly. A time where studios that were once built around a diverse lineup of movies and shows for audiences of all kinds, at different budgets, they instead put their money behind the sure things, repeating the same things again and again.

And we sit there, and we ask for MORE MORE MORE all of the time?

And we want it cheaper.

And if they’re not? I’m gonna PIRATE everything!4

When you have access to everything, everything means nothing.

Would you want to be paid the same amount of money at your job, forever, and you are responsible for everything you’ve ever done, forever?

Think of the movies and shows that surprised you. The movies and shows that took risks, and weren’t what you expected, or you had to go off the beaten path to find.

Things cost money. Art has value. Pay for it.

The Social Media service you’re embarrassed to read, and never post to! ↩

But probably not as much as you think when you consider the monies generated by their efforts ↩

I react to this word the way others do moist. ↩

I think there’s a fair point to be made about piracy as a way of archiving media, or gaining access to content not available to you internationally, but…I don’t think that’s the majority of use here. ↩

[1ddotdhq]

💿Sun 13 Dec ‘20💙

Happy Birthday, Fine Line! Have a Louis show! (Seriously, why can’t I get cool shows for my birthday like that??). So today’s been a busy week, huh? 

It is, of course, Fine Line’s anniversary, and the celebration kicked off last night, with a twitter emoji (it's Harrrry! Doing the FL pose so so tiny!) and the DYKWYA website changing. It’s pink and black and blue and white, and now tells us that we’re “loyal” and “marvelous” and “memorable” and “powerful” and “rare” and “real” and “staying six feet apart” (or 70 other lovely options). So either HSHQ got their thesaurus out, or they tuned into Louis’ show last night, because that’s EXACTLY how I would describe it. Anyways, the day started with a Harry sighting! Well, a video from last week that is, of him doing a MakeaWish FaceTime in a blue snapback. And then there was a Harry Lambert interview, where he directly addressed the discourse around Harry’s fashion choices, saying, “Harry will never wear something that he doesn’t want to wear...I always say, 'I‘m not doing my job if I’m making someone wear things' because I just think if someone gets comfortable in what they’re wearing, then it doesn’t matter if I think it looks good.” He went on to say, “There’s never an element of me forcing him to wear anything”. So - TAKE THAT, transphobes! We all recognize that saying “the mean gay man is making Harry look gay/genderqueer” is, uh, a REALLY bad take, right? Anyways, hopefully that’s the end of it, but we all know it won’t be. He also told us that Harry chose the (fake) pearls, asking “can I just wear these every day?” and they were only replaced with real ones after that strand broke, that he tried to get H out of the Vans for the Golden vid but he said nah, and about the Golden and WS videos “I kind of saw it as the same man just in a different place in the world” which, well- yeah? But the implication that that man was not Harry is interesting. Aside from that, we got some more terrible merch from HSHQ (including a shirt that is a glove with legs stuck on it, wtf), a few celebratory tweets from HSHQ, The Forum, Jeff Azoff (there's a theme here lol) etc, AND! A post from Harry himself: “I couldn’t be more grateful for you all continually finding new ways to change my life. Thank you for listening, and for everything else. I love you always, but especially today. H”. What? That’s his name, isn’t it? 

But, of course, H wasn’t the only one celebrating online today! Louis came back and answered some of our questions about the show. The first is that he sold over - are you ready for this? - OVER 160,000 tickets for the show, making it the biggest online show of 2020 by a solo male artist, and the third largest overall of the year. Even the Sun had to admit how “exceptional” that is, describing the show as "the equivalent of eight nights at London’s O2 Arena." Doing the math, this means he raised over $3.1 million from ticket sales alone! HOLY SHIT! Hearing that, Louis came on twitter to say (in reply to a quote by his PR company lmao), “This is truly incredible. No major label, no radio, yet here we are. The feeling of support I get from you all every time I do something is unbelievable. Forever Thankful! And they never see us coming!”. Of course, this incited another round of label discourse, wondering if this means he is still an unsigned artist. Does this simply mean the livestream wasn't put on by a label, yes, does Louis absolutely know about the discourse and is he being deliberate, I would also say unmistakeably yes. Which is not to say we know ELSE it might mean -- is he signed to an indie? Still label shopping and waving how much more they need him than vice versa in the hopefuls' faces? Signed but the contract doesn't start until there's a record in play (which when you negotiate your own contract and establish artistic freedom, as we can be very sure was Louis' priority, is what labels DO - they don’t manage every aspect of an artists career)? Signed by a major label, but shading the FUCK out of Syco about radio play for Walls? What we DO know is that it wasn't a label that put the livestream on, and damn if that doesn’t make it 1000% more badass. “Memorable”, “powerful”, and “rare” indeed! He’s still early in the process of LT2, as he told us yesterday, so we might have to wait a little longer to figure out what’s happening business-wise, but he made sure to tell everyone that his fans were an integral part of his processing the most inspiring way possible: “the power and the magic comes from the people you guys,” I COULD CRY that's MY inspirational leader THANK YOU. He goes on to say “don't undermine your role in all this... together with your support we're unstoppable!” He also called us “fucking relentless” (god knows that's true) as Walls hit the charts AGAIN, and talked about how the money raised will go a long way. “WE did that!!”

And with that, let’s talk a little bit more about last night’s (“bold”, “extraordinary”) show! ‘‘Copy’ is making its rounds on the internet, but YouTube continues to take down recordings of the show, which SUCKS, because everyone should be able to see it! Maybe in a few days when some time has passed, they’ll let it go up without an issue, or maybe they'll answer our pleas (come through one more time Louis!) and put out a DVD (and live album too how about, YES? Yes.), til then there are the downloads going around tumblr! Good thing we got Louis' seal of approval or just imagine the discourse. The ‘H’ shirt Louis was wearing last night is a Reebok shirt, which was being distributed in a few different places, such one where you could get a discount if you used the code ‘HL40’ and another where it was $28, lol. Was it the loudest Louis shirt ever- I mean I would say an unqualified NO but many are voting YES and are reeling so that's really fun! Welcome to the gang guys. Not likely to win any awards for being loud with such incredible competition but still very good SBBing-- Louis was wearing a stuffed bear t shirt in rehearsal pics. When you know you know, I guess! ;) The band is also soaking in the praises (as they should!) and have been re-posting fans’ stories on Instagram all day (as did LTHQ) - cheers, boys! 

Today’s Liam and Roman alarm was ALL us (well, not allll us, Roman did explain that the alarms would feature fans every Sunday, but then he handed the mic over). “Waking up to Liam and Roman is the best thing EVER! I don’t know why it gives me so much serotonin,” said one fan. I do! It’s because Liam is a real, live puppy dog and he’s so genuinely sweet to his fans. Love him lots, but I love him even MORE when he’s ON the advent alarm!

[somanyerikas]

Nostalgia sells - or does it? About BBC’s rehiring of a previous showrunner for Doctor Who as a marketing strategy

All, right, this is the one where I deal with my issues about RTD’s rehiring from the standpoint of BBC’s business strategy . Brace for passive agression, swearwords, brief history of british television and numbers. So, so many numbers.

Allright, so I already wrote a post about my problem with RTD’s (re)hire from the creative standpoint (it’s here in case you’re interested), but hey, I can bitch about it all I want, but we all know what caused the BBC to make this decision, right? You’ve heard about it for sure. The Dropping Ratings. You’ve read about it on so many posts, lots of them probably oh-so-gladly conflating this fact with their own opinion about the deteriorating quality of the show. (Don’t worry, we’ll get to that.) So Obviously the execs at the Big BBC Quarters needed to do something about it, and what better way to go than rehire a guy who’s run at Doctor Who is a warm childhood memory for so many in it’s fanbase? After all, it’s what we’re seeing nowadays: from Star Wars return to wave of 80′s nostalgia to every old blockbuster star doing a comeback, there is but a single conclusion - nostalgia sells.

Or does it?

Part One: Moving with the change; or very much refusing to.

Let’s start this off with some facts about the ratings for Doctor Who. (Well, I warned you there’s gonna be numbers, didn’t I. Stick with me, I’m going somewhere with this I promise.) In it’s beginnings, in the sixties and seventies , the series flown high, averaging a viewership from 8 up to 10 million viewers per season. Collin Baker’s series 17 brought in a record of 11.21 milion viewer asses in front of a good ol’ TV screen, real champagne opener here. But, as it happens, things were downhill from here. During the eighties, the rating started dropping steadily, reaching an all-time low of 4.15 milion couch-warming bottoms in 1989, the last season of the classic era. 

Years passed, 16 of those years to be exact, and here comes our saviour RTD. Under his wings, the revived series premiered, bringing in over 10 milion viewers to the premiere episode of season 1, Rose. A viewership this high did not last for long, but still, RTD’s seasons averaged between 7 and 8 milion viewers per season, which seemed pretty respectable. But then, as the story likes to repeat itself, not unlike the bbc execs just did, along came the decline again. Ever since 2010, the ratings began steadily dropping again, from 7.95 in 2010 to 5.46 in 2017. Then DW experienced an unexpected peak in 2018 with the premiere of Jodie Whittaker’s first season, which averaged 7.96 viewing asses, but then continued the dropping trend on the next season, averaging 5.40 viewing butts.

So what went wrong?

You see, part of the reason that Doctor Who was bringing in such great viewership numbers in the 60′s and 70′s, was that, to put it simply, BBC did not have much competition. Or, to be exact, only had one competitor. ITV was literally founded in order to break BBC’s monopoly over British television. But in the 80′s, with the launch of Channel 4 and Sky, the british viewers had more and more options to choose from. So logically speaking, they no longer had to watch BBC’s programming just because there was nothing else on. There was more and more new programes to boredom-watch. And here’s something y’all need to know about the tv industry: the boredom-watchers, the casuals? That’s the most important demographic. As hard as it might be to swallow, us hardcore fans, forum dwellers and Ao3 gremlins, we’re not as big of a group as we’d like to think. Loving fans are important to the tv execs as providers of word-of-mouth advertisment, but the real numbers come from the casual, everyday viewer who will just put on the next episode cause the other one was kinda fun I guess. Or more fun than the other options, anyway.

And this is why, by the way, when someone is conflating low viewership with the show Dissapointing The Fans, they’re full of shit. I’m sorry, but we’re really not that much of a force here, definitely not enough to make such a big impact on the numbers. Another factor, that some of you probably noticed already, is that the numbers I’m quoting are from british tv only, while the online fandom is very much international, so our opinions matter even less to the british execs, I’m sorry again, hard pill to swallow I know, but true nonetheless.

But I digress. So, to sum up the previous paragraph, Doctor Who’s viewership decline in the 80′s was the effect of the changing landscape of the TV industry, with which the BBC struggled to come to terms with.

Sound familiar?

Let’s move on to the 2010′s, shall we?

2010 was is actually a good marker of a year to choose, because it marks one important thing that begun a big change in the industry. This was the year in which Netflix expanded their services overseas, from being a DVD rental company to providing VOD services. Over the next decade streaming services grew in importance, from being an add-on to your cable TV that you didn’t really want but they were throwing it in for cheap, to very much self-sustainable media services you might very well buy instead of buying the cable. And if you look at the numbers for Doctor Who viewership declining over the last 10 years, that’s precisely what’s been happening. It’s not that people don’t want to watch Doctor Who on tv, they don’t want to watch tv in general. Do you know what was the most popular channel in Britain this year? Can you guess? Fucking Netflix that’s what. It’s just slowly-yet-steadily ceasing to be the way we use home entertainment anymore. Again, not much to do with the audience approval, because for that matter, let’s see about the specific episodes that saw the spikes in viewership. 

Rose, which i mentioned at the start of it, was for the longest time the unquestionable queen when it comes to viewership, at 10.81 milion. The next episode, The End of the World, pulled in 7.97 - almost 3 millions worth of lost viewer-butts in one week? Is it because it was so much worse than it’s predecessor? No, it simply did not have the smell of Newness, the Event You Must See, and as such brought forth less of the casual viewers who were simply curious about The New Thing. The next season followed the similar formula, peaking at the premiere, when the marketing was at it’s strongest, going down during the season, sometimes rising slightly for the finale, sometimes not. The most popular episodes are, of course, the specials - yet again, the vibe of The Event To Be Seen worked here, but one more thing working to their advantage is they often aired in spaces between seasons, serving as both a long-waited Crumbs of Content for the fans, and the basically stand-alones for the casuals. Do you know what the single most watched episode of revived DW is? No, it’s not Tennant’s goodbye with the role (yeah I know, I thought it had to be that as well). It was Voyage of the Damned, between seasons 3 and 4. The perfect standalone for the casual watcher. And last but not least, you know one more special feature that brought, maybe not as much, but definitely more than expected? The 1996 movie Doctor Who, with 9.08 million. Again, a perfect standalone.

But the standalones aren’t the only way to grab the viewership. The currently-highest viewing non-special episode of DW? The Woman Who Fell to Earth, Jodie Whittaker’s introduction. In 2018 no less, in the year when the streaming was the ruler supreme, this episode brought a whooping 10.96 million buts to the good ol’ TV again. Let me reiterate: this episode brought in more viewers than Rose did in 2005, while having WAY more competition and way less favorable circumstances of release that RTD’s debiut did. Not only that, it managed to bring on some numbers for the entire season as well, not as good of course as the premiere (because again, the Event vibes faded), but still brought a better average than the last six seasons did. (Again, let me reiterate: more than the last SIX seasons. More viewership than any series since 2010, since the Streaming Wars.) So clearly, this must be the way, right? Catering to this Weird New Trend, that saw directors notice there do in fact exist other actors than white men, that surely brought in some profit, even Marvel does it now, right? Out with the old, in with the new!

Part 2 The Deceitful Charm of Nostalgia

Well, it turns out the whole Doing New Things deal didn’t work out that well after all, now did it? The second season penned by Chibbnal averaged 5.40 milion, that’s 2.5 million drop from the previous one! It must mean it didn’t work, right? Well, yes and no. As much as the refreshment of the formula as simple as Let’s Put A Woman In It absolutely worked for one season, it very visibly did not hold up for longer. An Event-Episode is something that can still happen on TV, Event-Series? That’s pretty much reserved for streaming now, if you think about it, and it’s honestly kind of a miracle that Series 11 did as well as it had. Two consecutive Event-Series on network tv? Flat out impossible. 

So how to make those ratings great again? How to get those butts in seats of the Good Ol’? Well, the execs of the BBC have a plan for that. They brought in a devouring beast, and it’s name is: Nostalgia.

Without a doubt, there is a number of people who feel nostalgic about RTD’s era of Doctor Who. It’s a lot of people’s fond childhood memory, or the series they started with, and judging by the numbers, there should be quite a lot of them. So the new plan, as it appears, is to get to those who maybe lost interest in the show and lure them with the promise of the thing That Is Totally Like The Thing You Used To Love, Remember? (This is why I don’t actually think that RTD will be allowed to do anything new and interesting, that’s not what they hired him for. And that’s why I think this is bad from the creative standpoint.) So there are two questions here: One, will the people be lured? And two, for how long?

Nostalgia as a marketing strategy is something that you’re probably sick of seeing already (I know I am). But it has very much been effective on many levels, especially the eighties-baiting, Stranger Things style, can bring a new IP up to relevance. But what about old IP’s that want to have a comeback? 

It’s kind of dificult to find another TV show that I could compare to Doctor Who. Most series that have been running for that long are mostly soap operas, that operate on slightly different rules, and are also targeted to a different audience. So as much as the movie series is still not exactly the best comparison, when I think about a big IP, campy sci-fi, family-oriented (at least in theory) on its path back to relevance, I think about Star Wars, obviously. The Force Awakens gambled on that nostalgic feeling and won big, but the next two movies, while still financially successful, were nowhere near the astounding success of the first one. And that’s because - you guessed it - it created the Event You Must See again, The Great Comeback, but merely two years later, the comeback became old news. So what we can gain from that is that nostalgia can create an Event as well as a new trend, if not better. But the question remains: how long will that last?

That is, after all, the main difference between a movie franchise and a TV series in the traditional, network TV sense of the word: movie franchise must bring in the viewership every year or two, and TV series must bring in viewers every week for at least two months. Is RTD’s Nostalgia Vibes enough to provide for that?

I’ll say this: I’m absolutely certain that the 60th anniversary will be very popular. I still don’t think it will break any records because, as I’ve been trying to explain for this whole post, it is not 2007 anymore no matter how much the tv execs would like it to be. But ironically, the almost-certain success of the special is the very thing that could undermine the effect of bringing their precious Nostagia Boi back onboard. Remember, the first Event Episode is The Big Oof. That’s the one that gets asses to the Good Ol’, if anything ever does. After the first big event one, that’s the point when things start going down. They’re wasting their Special Event Boi for something that already would be an event, dear fucking gods, I hate your plan and I would still execute it better. Either have RTD be the Anniversary Guy and then hire someone new, use that hype and keep it going, OR have RTD come in after the anniversary, then at least you get the Event Effect for the premiere of his first return season. Fukin’ amateurs.

But even if they did that, here’s the thing: do you think that the people who departed from the show years ago actually want to watch another three to five seasons of The RTD Show? I mean, I’m sure the thought warmed some hearts, for sure. A number of people will definitely gladly watch the anniversary, probably the first few episodes of the first return to the basics, but after that? In the world when, due to streaming, they have an easy way to revisit the actual thing they’re nostalgic towards? I honestly don’t think so. And you’re not really gonna get many new people by going back, if that nostalgia factor isn’t there. And then there’s casual viewers, the backbone, as we established. And here’s the thing: lots of those people don’t even know who the current showrunner is, cause they’re not Terminally Online like we are, and the second thing? Lots of those people ARE JUST NOT WATCHING NETWORK TV, IM SORRY GARRY. They’re just. They’re just not. I don’t know how to spell it out better. Even my mum has netflix now. Your biggest base is in another castle mate, gotta get moving and gotta get moving quick, cause here’s another thing: all the nostalgia in the world will not do SHIT for you if your target, people who were kids/teens when the RTD era was airing, PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING TV ANYMORE CAUSE THEY MOVED OUT OF THEIR PARENTS FLAT AND LOTS OF YOUNG PEOPLE JUST DON’T BOTHER. Just. I’m sorry but you’re trying to resuscitate a decade-deceased corpse there buddy. It just won’t work. The times have changed and you gotta swim or drown, and it’s just not gonna be 2005 again, no matter how hard you pretend it is. It’s not your content it’s your business model. Just push more marketing for your iplayer or whatever, focus on streaming as your primary not your secondary cause that’s just what it is now, and maybe don’t rely on the viewer-counting systems of the yesteryear to evaluate your business. Or else you’re gonna get stuck sacrificing the creative growth of your show for a marketing strategy that probably won’t even fucking WORK.

There, I got it of my chest. Feel free to reblog, and also: you somehow got to the end of this, congrats! I’ll make numbers nerds out of y’all yet.

[majingojira]

Thankfully, some brave soul made a video about getting into Buffy, why you should do it, and things to watch out for.

If you get into Buffy, the Spinoff Angel is also on the list (after Season 3, the spinoff occurs and both crossover several times).

Now onto warnings not mentioned in the videos:

Personally, I'd add Episode 3 "The Witch" and Episode 11 "Invisible Girl" to the list for certain plot points. Episode 8 "I, Robot... You, Jane" introduces an important recurring character and is a very bad episode. Episode 4 "Teacher's Pet" is sometimes considered "So Bad It's Good." With 22 episodes every season (save the first) there are going to be some duds. But also gems. We're talking some of the best hours of television ever produced. Okay, now to warnings. There are some episodes that involve or allude to SA (Season 6, Episode 19 "Seeing Red" has SA attempted -- and also has a classic "Burry Your Gays" moment that angered a lot of people... I'll just say Season 6 in general is pretty rough both in terms of that sort of thing and quality). This was filmed at a time before binging so feel free to take it on small basis to not get overstocked.

You know how people complain about "Quippy Dialogue" or "Marvel Dialogue?" Meet patient zero. Personally, I feel the complaint is baseless and comes more from people trying to ape the style without understanding the substance behind it. But if you liked the doctoring work he did on movies like Toy Story and Speed, or his film works like The Cabin in the Woods and The Avengers, then you'll like Buffy. Arguable, the MCU wouldn't exist without it (Buffy herself is modeled after the X-Men's Kitty Pryde). Exec. Producer Joss Whedon characterizes himself as an existentialist and an absurdist and both philosophies are core tenants to the themes of the show. To summarize, as the show does, "If nothing we do matters, all that matters is what we do."

Yeah, and also, the creator is a known creep. He, like Alfred Hitchcock, is a brilliant talent but a terrible person. This is relevant because one of the characters, Xander Harris, is somewhat an idealized version of himself/author insert. He is... a divisive character. Some people hate him, and for good reasons. Others loved him back in the day, but he is the most prominent element that has not aged gracefully. To put it bluntly, he's a "Nice Guy" in some senses. A proto-INCEL. He's tolerable as a teenager given how teenage boys can be, but as the character grow up, he does the least growing up in a character sense.

Both shows can get DARK (the SA being only one example), so it's going to deal with heavy topics. Buffy as a show itself is very, very white. People of color don't tend to do well in that show, though Angel helps a bit with the character of Gunn being just delightful, the balance of POC is not great. It was also one of the groundbreakers for LGBT representation, which in the 90s really wasn't much. IE: Bisexuality wasn't really accepted yet in any aspect. Not quite as good as Xena was, but that was syndicated rather than network, they could get away with more.

It is a Horror series, so bad things happen to the characters. A LOT.

Oh! And one last thing. The HD transfers for the series are TERRIBLE. If something doesn't look right, or you see some of the crew on the sides, or an effect doesn't line up -- that's why. I'm lucky enough to have the original release DVDs, but basically every streaming site uses the HD transfers and they SUUUCK.

It's thankful the show is more known for its performances and dialogue...

Also, I think more people should watch older genre TV. As is often said: "To appreciate good cinema, you need to appreciate good schlock." That applies doubly with genre fare. I'd say, if you are up for it, check out Kolchak: The Night Stalker. 2 TV Movies and one 22-episode season. If that's too much, just check out the first movie, and the episodes: "The Zombie", "They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be", "Horror in the Heights", "The Spanish Moss Murders", and "The Energy Eater." The writer of "The Zombie" went on to create The Sopranos and it shows.

Hey Tumblr should I watch Buffy?

Honestly I've heard a lot of good things about it but I'm not entirely sure if I should take the dive because: 1) it's super long 2) It's pretty friggen old If it's really that good I want to give it a fair shot, but some heads ups would be nice. Also, if I shouldn't watch it, let me know why. I want to go in as informed and educated as I can be without knowing anything plot relevant other than this teenager is regularly killing monsters.

[cinema-tv-etc]

Celebrate Pi Day

The Truth About Jason Biggs' Warm Apple Pie Scene

by Thanos – onin Marvel Cinematic Universe

In the annals of "teenage sex comedies," few have been quite as successful, or well-remembered, as American Pie. Released in 1999, the film followed the hilarious, often utterly embarrassing journey of four high school pals (Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Thomas Ian Nicholas, and Eddie Kaye Thomas) who make a pact to lose their virginity by Prom night. Flying mostly under radar before its release, the film hit theaters in the summer of 1999, and ended up becoming one of the year's biggest, and most unexpected hits. Sharply scripted and lovingly rendered, American Pie also made stars of its talented young cast. It also made infamous the concept of "warm apple pie." For those who haven't seen the film, "warm apple pie" is how one of the pals in question crassly describes third base to his sex-crazed comrades. If you aren't aware of that little nugget, you probably aren't aware that kooky notion inspires one of the boys to take deeply indecent liberties with a fresh baked pie in the comfort of his family's kitchen.

Captured with surprisingly vivid frankness, and acted with laugh-out-loud hilarity by Jason Biggs and Eugene Levy, the so-called "pie f***ing scene" in American Pie has lived both in comedic infamy and reverence in the more than two decades since the film first shocked the movie-going public. And in that time, all sorts of behind-the-scenes tales have come out about the making of American Pie's most talked about moment. The New York Times even revisited the scene for a revelatory exposé celebrating the film's 20th anniversary. Here's a few things we now know about Jason Biggs' warm apple pie scene in American Pie.

The infamous Pie scene wasn't in the original American Pie script

Even if you didn't see American Pie when it was released, it's all but certain you were aware of the pie scene, because it became an instant entry into the cultural zeitgeist of the time. And if you're among the millions who did see American Pie in its theatrical run, you know it's all but impossible to imagine the movie without it. But as it happens, American Pie screenwriter Adam Herz claims in that NYT piece that the scene wasn't originally in his script.  "[The pie scene] wasn't in my original draft. There was this line somewhere early in the first act where the kids are talking about rounding the bases of sex." Per Herz, the line which inspired the pie humping was actually intended to "show Jim's naïveté but also show, do the other guys know what they're talking about either? I wrote this line 'What does third base feel like?' And Chris Klein was like, 'Warm apple pie, dude,' and he does this gesture. That line always stuck with me."The line apparently stuck enough that Herz and company felt the need to show Biggs' character taking the idea to a wholly unexpected extreme. And Herz goes on to claim the scene became such a seminal part of the narrative it led to the film being renamed.  "If you talk to Chris [Weitz] and Paul [Weitz], or any of the producers, nobody seems to take credit for coming up with American Pie. But I remember at the time thinking [the name] was awful, because I was a huge Don McLean fan. I don't know how Don McLean feels about it, but it worked."

The scene apparently took hours to shoot

In Biggs' comments to the Times, it seems shooting the pie scene was every bit as absurd as you'd expect too. "We did it once where I straddled the counter and the pie on that island in the kitchen. Then we did it a second way where I was doing it standing up. I believe the latter was the version that was in the theaters, and then the former was where I was on top of the counter." Just FYI, the "Unrated" DVD release of American Pie features the counter top version of the scene, and yes, it's even funnier than the original.

The actor goes on to detail that shooting the scene was not only logistically difficult but also time consuming. "Each time it was very tricky. I'll never forget J.B. [American Pie first assistant director J.B. Rogers] would be coming in and would be adjusting my pants ever so slightly [...] It was probably like six hours of doing it from all different angles and all different versions of it."For Biggs' co-star Eugene Levy, it seems the day's work was far less intricate however. "For me it was more anti-climactic than one might think. I walked into the kitchen and I was only looking at a piece of tape marked on a light stand where my son would have been humping the pie. So, I had to react to a piece of tape." It's perhaps a testament to Levy's legendary comedic acumen that even in responding to a piece of tape, he delivers one of cinema's greatest reaction shots. Jason Biggs was understandably quite nervous about shooting the scene

Eugene Levy might've gotten off easy in the moment, but the pie scene was one that legitimately tested the nerve of then-unknown Jason Biggs. The actor admitted as much in the NYT  piece, claiming he almost didn't go through with it, remembering that he was thinking, "Could this come back and just totally haunt me? Am I about to ruin my career before it even starts?' I called my manager, and I was like, 'Man, I am about to go film that scene, and I'm kind of having a bit of a moment. Should I be freaked out?' He was like, 'Jason, you go and [have sex with] that pie with all you got, man.'"

Biggs obviously approached the difficult scene with the laudable verve of a true professional, which is why it continues to earn laughs decades later. Biggs goes on to claim, however, another actor almost performed the act instead."I remember reading the American Pie script. I would've been happy if I had gotten any part. It was like nothing I had read. It was brutal because the feedback I had gotten was that I was the director's first choice, but the studio was still potentially holding out for a name in the role. The name that was I hearing the most at the time was Jonathan Taylor Thomas, who was at the height of Home Improvement fame."It's safe to say that as impossible as it is to imagine American Pie without Jason Biggs or the pie-humping scene, it feels just as impossible to imagine Jonathan Taylor Thomas doing the warm apple pie deed.

Biggs and Eugene Levy are still receiving free apple pie when dining out

In spite of the fact that Biggs' Jim has endured far more egregious humiliations throughout his tenure in the American Pie franchise (see that unsettling Nadia scene, the unfortunate super glue incident, a gross-out beard-trimmer moment, and countless others), the pie-humping scene is the one which as followed the actor most frequently throughout his career. As Biggs told The New York Times, it's also kept him in free pie for the better part of a couple of decades. "For a long time after, and still occasionally, I'll get sent an apple pie at a restaurant. It's definitely not as intense as it was when the movie first came out. That I think is just always going to happen. I've resigned myself to that. I got a lot of pies sent to me."

Perhaps not surprisingly, Biggs' co-star in the scene, Eugene Levy (for whom the movie was a legitimate breakout moment), has seen his share of free apple pie as well. "I still have people stopping me on the street and talking to me about American Pie. To this day, people love the movie. I've had more apple pies put in front of me in restaurants with waiters and waitresses giggling as they set it down."

Luckily, the legacy of the American Pie's warm apple pie scene is one both actors are perfectly willing to embrace. It helps, of course, that so many people still relate to the film on a deeply human level as well. And it seems that much remains true even more than two decades after American Pie first made pie-humping a thing. Seriously though, pie-humping didn't really become a thing, right?

https://marvelmoviesnews.com/the-truth-about-jason-biggs-warm-apple-pie-scene

[sineala]

A Few Thoughts About Hurt/Comfort

I have been asked this month to make a post about hurt/comfort in Avengers comics. And I love h/c -- I actually have a massive number of WIPs right now that are h/c -- so I am very happy to talk about it! Anyway, this is not really all that planned out and this mostly turned into an excursus on Tony Stark's pain. I'm sure you're all surprised.

Like pretty much everyone else, I'm sure, I have found that everything lately has been... pretty tough. And the coping mechanism that really got me through last year and this year was reading and writing a lot of h/c, on the theory that, however lousy a day I'm having, I can absolutely make sure that Tony Stark has a worse one. And then I can make sure he gets hugs. Wish fulfillment? Why, yes. (Once at Hallmark I was trying to find a "get well soon" card, forgot what it was called, and described it to my wife as "a hurt/comfort card.") I think Marvel Comics -- the Avengers side, in particular -- is an interesting canon for h/c for a lot of reasons. Though, honestly, if you asked me to recommend you, a hurt/comfort fan, a new fandom, I would probably just hand you some Starsky & Hutch DVDs. Go watch "The Fix" and get back to me later. If you like that, there's way more where that came from. But there's still lots to love in Marvel! Superhero comics are really a goldmine as far as the hurt side of h/c. Because superheroes, and you probably have noticed this, get hurt a lot. They get hurt repeatedly, in fantastical ways that are probably impossible in real life both physically and emotionally (at least, I don't think anyone's invented mind control yet), and even the heroes without superhuman healing powers tend to get physically hurt a whole lot worse than actual people can take. Currently in Iron Man comics, Tony has a broken back and is dealing with this by locking himself into the armor as a backboard and injecting himself with massive doses of painkillers. He's busy! He's got stuff to do! He doesn't have time to lie around and heal! So, basically, if you name a kind of pain that you would like to see happen to a character, it's probably happened to superheroes. Multiple times. The downside, though, is that comics do not really deliver that well when it comes to the comfort part of h/c. They could. It's not inherent to the medium that they don't. But because of the serial nature of comics and also the fact the primary audience is dudes who want to read about people in spandex punching each other, a lot of the time they don't really feel the need to provide closure and write about people dealing with any of the hurt. (Raise your hand if you're still annoyed with the end of Hickman's Avengers run.) But at the same time, I think that's a quality that makes Avengers ripe for h/c fanfic. Because, generally speaking, fandom likes to provide the things that canon doesn't, and fandom is more than happy to provide the comfort. If you enjoy canonical h/c in comics, I think you really can't go wrong with Iron Man. One of the big innovations of modern Marvel Comics was the concept that heroes would also suffer from relatable human problems, and in practice what this means is that a lot of heroes start with a fully-loaded angst-ridden backstory and origin story, ripe for h/c. So Tony starts out by incurring a heart injury that he fully expects is going to kill him, which he responds to by vowing he won't get close to anyone so they won't be sad when he dies, and throughout the early Silver Age is constantly on the brink of death as his heart nearly gives out on him practically every issue. And then even after his heart gets (mostly) better, there are various plots involving his armor being detrimental to his health and him choosing to fight on anyway. It's hard for me to think of another superhero hitting that particular variety of h/c in exactly the same way. Sure, superheroes risk their lives constantly, because this is how superhero comics work, but Tony is the only one I can think of who is this constantly this badly off, physically. Like, think of all the other heroes who have had a continual solo presence as fan favorites across Marvel history -- Captain America, Thor, Spider-Man, Wolverine, maybe even Deadpool. You know what those guys all have? Healing factors! For the most part, they are not running around continually on the verge of death, and while there are certainly memorable arcs involving several of them being severely injured and/or dead, you really have to work at it. It's not their constant state of affairs, whereas Tony is the kind of superhero who shows up to a fight already bleeding out under his armor. Yeah, I know Extremis gave him a healing factor. But he didn't have it very long, and also he did some extremely dangerous things while he did have it; I'm pretty sure I've never seen Wolverine saying that he'll just solve a problem by cutting off his own foot. So, anyway, yeah, there are a bunch of good arcs involving h/c for Tony. If you're looking for physical injury, he has a whole bunch of heart problems over the years, gets several new hearts, then ruins his brain, et cetera. That level of hurt is basically the background pain of Tony's life; every so often, his heart will get damaged or he'll have to live in the armor or the armor will be killing him, et cetera. If you're looking for more unusual trauma, I am, as always, going to rec Manhunt, a relatively obscure arc in late v3 (IM v3 #65-69) in which Tony has an extremely bad week. His tech is stolen and used to bomb a building. Then he gets shot in the chest. Then while he's at the hospital a nurse tries and fails to poison him, and she then tries to beat him to death. Then he checks himself out of the hospital and a helicopter shoots missiles at him. Then he becomes a fugitive from justice. And then, oh, yeah, he has to fight the Mandarin. It is... a lot. (Volume 3 of Iron Man is pretty good as far as h/c possibilities. You've got a lot of physical pain, Carol's drinking arc, the Sentient Armor, both DreamVision arcs, and Manhunt. Manhunt is finally supposed to be out in trade this month, by the way.) There are of course the drinking arcs, which probably count as their own type of hurt. But if you haven't read the second drinking arc (IM #160-200), please do. Marvel likes to up the stakes on events (Fear Itself, Secret Empire) by making Tony drink, and it does work, I think. I feel like I've spoken at length about Tony's drinking elsewhere so I don't really want to rehash it all here. And then there's the emotional pain. Angst and drama is something that happens to a whole bunch of characters, yes, especially in comics, but somehow Tony seems to end up with possibly more than his fair share of it. Fandom likes to make a lot of Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, so much so that you might think, if you didn't know canon, that this was just fandom running with a throwaway mention of Tony's terrible childhood and making it worse. But, no, canon really does go there with a reasonable amount of frequency. Howard's actual first appearance is in a flashback where he's ordering teenage Tony to break up with his girlfriend because she's the daughter of one of Howard's business rivals. And then we get into the verbal abuse, and the physical abuse, and the time Howard made Tony take his first drink, and the part where Howard was a demon in hell who Tony fought while he insulted him. And more! Currently, in canon, Howard is alive again and is in league with Mephisto for the express purpose of ruining Tony's life. Also when Tony was a baby, Howard tried to trade him to Dracula. I think you can make an argument that fandom is actually showing restraint when compared to canon. Tony also has a whole lot of Terrible Exes whose presence and/or former presence in Tony's life can be used for a lot of hurt. If you've read any amount of fanfic, you probably know that the exes who get the most play in fandom are Sunset Bain and Tiberius Stone -- not that Tony and Ty were ever canonically a couple, of course, but fandom is definitely enamored of this idea. Ty and Sunset both have relatively similar interactions with Tony in canon, in that they are both liars and emotional abusers, heavy on the gaslighting, with the purpose of becoming more successful than Tony. They both also attempt to murder Tony, although this is after he figures out they're evil, at least. (Yes, I know, this is not how either of them usually appear in AUs.) Tony also has a bunch of exes who also have just straight-up tried to murder or otherwise hurt him, sometimes while they are dating, and sometimes before Tony dates them: Whitney Frost, Indries Moomji, Kathy Dare, and Maya Hansen come to mind. There are probably more I'm not thinking of! But, yes, if you want to write about a guy in a series of terrible relationships, please consider Iron Man comics. If mind control is one of your favorite flavors of hurt, Tony's pretty good for that too. We all know about The Crossing. I suppose when I say "mind control" I mostly mean "armor control" because there are an awful lot of plots where someone else makes Tony's armor do whatever they want it to do and Tony is along for the ride -- Demon in a Bottle, Sentient Armor, and Execute Program are the first things that come to mind. There is also a fairly obscure What If that is What If Iron Man Lost The Armor Wars in which Justin Hammer apparently really wants Tony in a mind control collar to take off all his clothes and lounge around in his underwear. No, really. I think a lot of pain for Tony often revolves around his issues with control, generally -- his alcoholism comes into play here again. The entire aftermath of Civil War is also notable for its propensity to hurt Tony over and over and over. Is he stoically soldiering on through his grief after Steve dies? Hell, no! He cries, like, six separate times. He 100% blames himself for Steve's death. It's great. Everybody loves The Confession and the funeral in Fallen Son, but one of my personal favorites is Avengers/Invaders, in which Tony is confronted with a time-traveling Steve from WWII and in order not to screw up the timeline, he can't tell Steve he knows him. He is clearly not coping well. He shuts himself in a room with a giant wall of pictures of Steve! Also there's a part where he has to try to convince Steve he can trust him and he ends up having to tie Steve to a chair to talk to him, and Steve looks at him and asks, "Who did you kill to get where you are?" and I feel like that is probably one of the worst moments in Tony's life. No wonder he gave himself amnesia. So now we might want to ask, okay, but why is hurting Tony in fanfiction so much fun? I mean, I can tell you why I think it's fun. I can't speak for anyone else. One reason is that he is very emotional and very affected by everything he does. Sometimes you will see people complaining that the heroes of m/m fanfic cry too much and this is not realistic. This is not a problem if you're writing Tony! He can cry as much as you want and it's perfectly in character. I don't think it would be as fun to hurt him if he didn't express so much of his pain. But he does. He also feels guilty, and for me that's a very satisfying character element. If he were well-adjusted and didn't blame himself for so many things, it wouldn't be nearly as fun as watching him blame himself for everyone whose death he thinks he is responsible for, whether or not he is. And then he just keeps going, and it's, y'know, nice to watch him be resilient, too. So, I guess, I think hurting him is interesting because it's easy to hurt him, his weak points are pretty obvious, and he reacts a lot. Steve doesn't hurt quite as much as Tony does, in canon. It's certainly possible to hurt him -- I mean, they did actually kill him after Civil War, after all -- but I don't think the canonical patterns of hurting him are as numerous. Obviously deseruming Steve is a fairly popular go-to in terms of physical hurt; he's been deserumed at least three times that I know of. I think's easy to see the appeal there of taking a character who is fairly physically resilient and making him... much less so. Certainly Marvel seems to see the appeal. But other than that I don't think he has any other really common way to get physically injured. Unlike Tony, whose origin story is basically "oh no, I've acquired a disability," Steve's origin story is "I drank a serum that cured all my disabilities." Which, I mean, great wish fulfillment but there's not really as much there to poke at. Pretty much all of Steve's pain is emotional, but, unlike Tony, his pain isn't often specifically in response to someone directly, purposefully hurting him. Hickman's Avengers run is a big exception, yes. His pain seems to come up most often as a kind of situational angst. He feels like a man out of time. He feels out of touch with the modern era, with people his own age. He feels guilt because he feels responsible for Bucky's death. He feels like he can't trust the government and therefore he can't be Captain America. He worries that he doesn't know how to have a normal life. And, yes, these are deep and important worries but it's different than, like, Indries Moomji dumping Tony with the intent to make him sad enough to start drinking. Very few of Steve's villains want to personally ruin Steve's entire life the way Tony's villains do; mostly they just want to do things like bring back the Nazis. In terms of Steve's potential for h/c, I think Steve is harder to hurt than Tony is. Physically, he is definitely harder to hurt. You can deserum him, sure, but unless you want everything you write to be a deseruming fic you're probably not going to want to do that more than a couple of times. And if you want to hurt him physically while he has the serum, you have to hurt him hard. Usually past the point where a regular human would ever survive it. He's also harder to break, emotionally, than Tony is -- which means it's very satisfying when you can get him to break, but this is a guy who's only cried twice (that I remember) in canon. So if you want to get him to cry, you really, really have to wreck him, and he doesn't have as many obvious weak spots. He also doesn't generally sit around blaming himself for things that aren't his fault, and the whole "stewing in guilt" genre of plots for him basically came down to "he was sad that he thought Bucky's death was his fault," and that's really the biggest regret he seems to have, and also Bucky's not dead anymore. The Steve/Tony relationship itself, I would think, is also appealing to h/c fans because canon provides a lot of ways for them to hurt each other. Some people only ship pairings who would never, y'know, take turns beating each other half to death in major event comics. (And for a lot of Marvel Comics history, that was also Steve & Tony, so if you want them to be BFFs who have never fought, you can just set your fic earlier.) They have definitely hurt each other both physically and emotionally, so if you're looking for something easy and satisfying as a h/c fan, you can just read or write something where they... make up. What about Marvel characters other than Steve and Tony? Surely some of them are angsty, yes? Well, yes, but also it depends on the particular flavor of angst that you like. If you like the way Tony hurts, you may very well enjoy Doctor Strange comics, because they have a very similar attitude towards life -- they are both former alcoholics whose origin stories involve physical disabilities, who routinely make tactical decisions that negatively affect their continued existence and/or happiness a whole lot. It's very much an "I must suffer alone in the dark and no one will ever know what I am doing to save the world but it's the right thing to do" sort of vibe. Like, you can read comics where Strange is lying in hell with two broken legs, hallucinating that Clea has finally come to save him. Strange's biggest fear, akin to Tony's control issues, is basically that one day he's going to be an asshole again, so he's out there trying as hard as he can to do good. Also, if you like tentacles, he has all of them. I mean that. Carol also occasionally hits similar angst spots, and her drinking arc is great. A lot of people like Natasha, too; I have read zero Black Widow comics but I get the impression many people enjoy her brand of angst. The mutant metaphor is a little different in terms of overall vibe, but some people really like it as a source of angst -- the whole "protecting a world who hates and fears them" thing. It may not work for you, but if you like your hurt to include things like systemic oppression, go pick up some X-Men comics. Start with something like God Loves Man Kills. I feel like I liked this sort of thing a lot more as a teenager but that I kind of aged out of liking the mutants quite so much. It's also worth mentioning that not everything that hits the spot in one universe will be the same in the others, and I'm mentioning this because I feel like I have to say something about MCU Bucky. MCU fandom seems to get a lot of mileage out of Bucky's guilt about being the Winter Soldier, everything he was forced to do, et cetera. I have definitely read my share of those fics, and FATWS sure went right for that angst too. But as far as I can tell, he doesn't hit the same way at all in 616. And I like him a lot in 616; I'm always pleased when he shows up on a team. (He was so good in Strikeforce. Everyone was so good in Strikeforce.) But the thing is, 616 Bucky is, basically, phenomenally well-adjusted, given everything he's gone through, and I'm including the time he wrestled a bear in a gulag. He gets over having been the Winter Soldier, and now he's just, y'know, a guy with a cool arm who likes to bring guns to every fight to horrify his teammates, and he snarks at Clint. If you're looking for that angst, that is really not him these days. He's all better. So pretty much all that is canon. So what do we do in fandom for h/c? Well, as far as I can tell, a decent amount of it is canon-based or very canon-close -- there are a whole lot of stories exploring the angst of Civil War or Hickman's Avengers run. Tony's drinking comes up a fair amount, and if one of Tony's Evil Exes comes back to haunt him, it's pretty much only Tiberius Stone. I don't think I've read a lot of fic with Steve getting deserumed; it doesn't seem as popular in fandom as in canon. When Steve gets hurt, he tends to just get physically whumped pretty hard, and there's a fair amount of that for Tony too, but of course Steve can take more. There's also a thriving, uh, subgenre of pain involving Hydra Steve doing terrible things to Tony, presumably the terrible things he would have wanted to do to Tony in canon if Tony had had a flesh body. There's the usual kinds of h/c setups that appear in basically every fandom as well -- sickfic, whump, dub-con/non-con. You get the idea. But since fandom in general likes to take specific inspiration from canon, there's a lot of fic where the hurt tends to resemble things that happen more in canon. Like, I feel like comics fic probably has more tentacle fic and more mind control than canons that don't come pre-stocked with those. Probably everybody has a whole lot of "tied up by bad guys," though. And then, of course, fandom brings the comfort that canon does not. This is true in pretty much every fandom -- I mean, you aren't going to find a lot of actual canons where Character A saves Character B from mortal peril and then there's gay sex -- but, like I was saying, comics don't provide a lot of closure before it's onto the next thing. Usually with a different creative team, who has no interest in wrapping up anything from the last team. Steve and Tony talked about the incursions exactly once after Secret Wars and nobody mentioned the part where Steve spent several months trying to hunt Tony down and kill him. Tony is never going to remember the events of Civil War. Hydra Steve died ignominiously in a fire and no one has ever talked about him again. Honestly, if you're looking for a way to get some comfort in your fanfic, picking an event, any event, and just having the characters talk about it will be way more than any of them get in canon. I feel like honestly that can often be a pretty satisfying to read. And even though comics canon physically hurts characters pretty often and pretty badly, they also often skip right past the recovery. Maybe you'll get one page of a character in a hospital bed at the end of the story arc. Maybe you won't. Demon in a Bottle has one splash page of Tony going through alcohol withdrawal and then he's all better. I think Manhunt skips to Tony getting out of the hospital at the end. That's just not a story that they want to tell very often. The second drinking arc is notable in that it devotes almost as many issues to Tony's recovery as it does to getting him to rock-bottom. Similarly, Steve is done with his Nomad angst way way faster than you probably think he is (though The Captain does go in for a fair number of issues). So one of the things we often want to do in fandom is focus on all the bits that canon skips over, both in the "why did no one ever mention this story arc ever again" way and the "wow, so how long are they in the hospital after that" way. That's really all I can think of about h/c! I'm off to write some more of it!

[oosteven-universe]

The Batman & Scooby-Doo Mysteries #8

The Batman & Scooby-Doo Mysteries #8 DC Comics 2021 Written by Ivan Cohen Illustrated by Dario Brizuela Coloured by Franco Riesco Lettered by Saida Temofonte    The world’s greatest detectives-Batman and Mystery, Inc.-face a mysterious scheme concocted by Harley Quinn and the Joker! A mysterious zillionaire has taken over Gotham’s waterfront. But what do Batman’s wildest foes and a supercharged ghost have to do with it?    This issue just goes to show why I think this is one of the best books DC has right now.  It’s got that tongue-in-cheek humour for adults and the right blend of the animated cartoons that are perfect for kids.  These folks have found a way to sneak it all in right under everyone’s noses and the multiple mentions that the kids and Batman have been working together a lot is absolutely phenomenal.  This series is dedicated to them teaming up and yeah I’m loving every moment of it but I wouldn’t mind seeing their Team-Up book coming back and having them explore more of the DCU, especially on planets not their own just saying.  This is so well done however that I’m going to miss this when it’s over.  It has been a real joy seeing the more lighthearted Batman teaming up with the kids because it just brings us back to a more innocent time.    I’m a huge fan of the way that this is being told.  The story & plot development that we see through how the sequence of events unfold as well as how the reader learns information is presented exceptionally well.  The character development that we see through the dialogue, the character interaction as well as how we see them act and react to the situations and circumstances which they encounter does a magnificent job in continuing to bring us these always evolving personalities.  The pacing is excellent and as it takes us through the pages revealing the story the more fun we seem to be having.    I like how we see this being structured and how the layers within the story continue to emerge, grow, evolve and strengthen.  I also like how these layers open up new avenues to be explored, like Daphne being the one to figure out the anagram that was a nice change of pace we don’t normally see.  What all this does is add some great depth, dimension and complexity to the story.  How we see everything working together to create the story’s ebb & flow as well as how it moves the story forward are impeccably rendered.      The interiors here are absolutely bloody delightful.  It does feel like an animated series so maybe this could be a straight to dvd, okay Blu-Rays or whatnot nowadays, series or something because this is what we need in this crazy world right now.  The way that we see backgrounds being utilised to enhance and expand the moments as well as how the work within the composition of the panels to bring out the depth perception, sense of scale and the overall sense of size and scope to the story are marvellously rendered.  The utilisation of the page layouts and how we see the angels and perspective in the panels show such a remarkable eye for storytelling.  The various hues and tones within the colours being utilised to create the shading, highlights and shadow work shows a wonderful understanding of how colour works.  The gradation and such in the backgrounds versus the solid characters is exceptionally well done almost like colourforms, a favourite of mine when I was a kid. ​    This really is one of the best books to be reading right now.  Not only is it a near perfect all-ages book but it’s also that book that brings fun back to comics.  It may be lighthearted fare but it does have some serious business to it that makes it so incredibly easy to read.  This has some exceptional writing, characterisation and interiors there’s nothing here NOT to love. 

[piglet26]

How Wokedom Destroyed Mulan L.A. then no one learned anything

Disney going live action is not only a brilliant cash grab for the nostalgic 90s generation, but it was also meant to introduce Disney greatness to a new generation. The 90s were an epic decade for Disney! A decade of hits that produced Grammys, millions in merchandizing, broadways shows, new theme park attractions and shows, its own channel AND properly jumped on the early 00s DVD movement. In short, Disney made a shit ton of a money from this decade.

The live actions have been trash though. Notice how Disney had been abandoning them and focusing on Marvel films? Financially, they did well while underperforming what Disney wanted them to do. They failed where it really matters and that's with the audience that grew up loving the animated version. Not because we didn't want them to succeed. We did!

Mulan is a brilliant beloved Disney film for over two decades! She was my favorite Disney princess and the boys loved her! Mulan is an action fantasy coming of age story. Mulan has battles between the Chinese army and the invading Hun army. We wanted to see the glorious Chinese landscapes. Sing all our favorite songs and hang out with Eddie Murphy's beloved Mushu. See actors bring to life Mulan, Shang, Yao, Chi-Fu, Ling. And what the hell did we get?! Barely any of that. Disney removed every lovable aspect of this film. China, the audience Disney was really aiming for, didn't even like this film.

Where did it all go wrong? Two things. The group that is at the center of most failed reboots, sequels, gender/race swaps and live editions. The woke group. The second being pandering to China.

Mulan started production at the height of the MeToo era. You know that era that was meant to target Hollywood and the systems they had in place that protected the men and women that used sex as a form of currency, control and intimidation. People seem to have forgotten that though and are back to worshipping the same people quietly allowing the same system to continue behind the scenes.

As a response to all of this going on Disney decided to completely butcher the Mulan film. Why?! Why?! Because the woke group, aware of their growing influence, thought the film wasn't empowering enough for females. This showed how the woke group is nothing more than a limited thinking group of sheeple who have the right intentions but don't exactly know where the problem is much less how to fix it.

They literally removed EVERY SINGLE SONG because some of the songs were "sexist" how stupid are you? No really how stupid are you? That you think everything needs to be dumbed down because you clearly missed the point of the movie. We all saw the film and got the point of the movie without these people being involved with the film. Thank God! Yes, Mulan faces misogyny. Girls all over the world face misogyny and you know what? The western film had the girl defeat misogyny. She saved China while being a woman and having men followed her knowing she was a woman. This is also the Chinese story because Mulan was based on a real woman. That apparently wasn't important enough for them to see either.

They excluded two great characters Mushu and Shang. Shang because he was her commanding officer, and it would be regarded as a man taking advantage of his employee. WHAT?! The guy that only treated her as a respected fellow soldier then choose not to kill her when he found she was a woman, though that was the law. Then defended, protected and demanded others respected her a hero of China. Only then pursuing her as a woman once she left the army.

Mushu, a black voice actor, got cut because of cultural significance. Uh-huh. I really suspect it has something to do with the fact that China has a massive racism problem against blacks. A fact the western and eastern world are desperate to not expose. This is the problem with political correctness though. It's hypocritical in nature and things that are hypocritical never stand for long. For heaven's sake the Mulan filmed thanked China for allowing it to film near a concentration camp!

I could say more, believe me I could, because this film fails bitterly on every front but I do want to round out the point. The point being that despite the bitter failings of the recent decade no one has learned a damn thing. Disney refuses to return to the nonpolitical booming 90s. The woke audience don't seem to realize they are also the problem and the companies they love, like Disney, they are aiding in the demise of. The western world with all our problems still stand a leg and arm above the most basic human rights violations of the east but we ignore this out of greed.

Now ignore this version was ever done and go watch the brilliant version about a girl who became an empowered woman through hard work, intelligence, courage and self-belief.

[mcmusing]

After finally receiving recognition as a legitimate genre, superhero movies have done what many achievers of greatness have- become egotistical to the point of complacent laziness. So many dreadful, repetitive storylines with the alleged heroes serving no purpose outside of personifying an agenda.

Even during the 'bad' era, most of the movies were at least entertaining. What ever happened to our heroes inspiring and uplifting-

No. Freaking. Way. Definitive Fantastic Four 2005-2007! You're seriously here right now??

Johnny: We heard your cry clear across the dimensions and felt it our duty to help fix your busted brain.

Reed: That and we would have wound up here, anyway, thanks to Johnny playing with my inter-dimensional transport prototype.

Johnny: A prototype I was duty bound to play with.

ATG: I don't care if you came here via Greyhound. I thought I'd never see you guys again. The X-Men have been popping in and their non-animated stuff is....

Ben: A rancid hot mess?

Johnny: Criminally retarded?

Sue: Overrated even when they're underrated?

Reed: A phenomenon of failure too preposterous for even Stephen Hawking to compute?

ATG: That's the short list, bur unfair comes to mind, too. They got a bazillion movies to butcher, but you guys only got two. Geez, the entire Marvel fandom is certifiably insane.

Reed: Regurgitated lowbrow entertainment thrives on recent technological advances. The implementation of computerized flash and spectacle appeals to the pleasure center of the laymen's brain. It causes a slow but inevitable decay in analytical objectivity, reducing intellect to a puerile husk. To say nothing of the pessimism that's pervaded current day cinema and subliminally fractured the human psyche to unprecedented proportions.

Ben: Basically, these studios make mad bank servin' up discount Dark Knight flicks to them shallow wannabe edge-lords.

Sue: Not to mention following it up with a dessert of crude stupidity wrapped in an R-rating.

Johnny: So, Bat-Bale and Deadfool. *Scoffs* And here I thought I was the narcissistic showman.

ATG: I get all of that, believe me. And I freaking hate it because all they have on you guys is not enough fight scenes. Now, all these movies have like 90% action that I use for bathroom breaks.

Reed: Standard Hollywood extremism. They can imitate the sensation of flying through the sky with blue elves yet middle ground sensibility continues to allude them.

Sue: We know what our movies meant to you, Princess. They're among the few superhero DVDs you own. Silver Surfer is still the only time you've gone to the theater by yourself, isn't it?

ATG: Fantastic doesn't begin to describe it.

Ben: You went all out with pizza and snacks. One of the rare gems that stands out from a not-so-golden time in your life, right?

ATG: Ohh yeah. No joke.

Johnny: At least you ended up getting sweet vengeance without lifting a finger. That fan-4-stick isn't even dead and buried. That crap got cremated and pimp-slapped by St. Peter.

ATG: *Grins* YESSSS! That garbage helped kick off all of this ridiculous race-swapping.

Ben: Yeah, they tried to clobber poor Jessica Alba for making Sue look like she caught a tan, but some preening punk with a stolen NBA name was supposed to be progress?

Sue: Why was there a need to change Storm family history that drastically? Our past is a tiny bit significant to our sibling dynamic and personalities.

Reed: If they'd casted a black actor for me or Ben it wouldn't have been nearly as jarring.

Johnny: Yeah, until the social justice whiners started complaining about Black Ben being the Thing most of the movie.

TGA: These executives are insultingly transparent. They wouldn't make Reed black because they don't believe a black scientific genius could carry a film. And Sue stayed white so they didn't have to show an interracial couple in the marketing.

Johnny: So, just blacken the impulsive guy and have him be an obnoxious clown every second... Nope, no offensive implications there.

ATG: Okay, if we're talking about offensive implications, we need to discuss *Not*-Captain America.

Johnny: Oh, that son of a-

Sue: Jonathan Storm....

Johnny: Sorry, sis, but come on! Talk about a slap in the face. How does a guy go from the Human Torch to the Patron Saint of Patriotism?!

Ben: Gotta agree there, flame brain. That was a low blow.

Sue: One of many reasons the MCU's not for you?

ATG: And it'd go against my pre-determined status as the obscurity oddball.

Ben: You think that's all on you? Even before I became a livin' rock collection, you have any idea what it's like to have a scientific mind paired up with the heart of a Brooklyn bum? Studyin' gamma rays in a sea of borderline aspergers geeks.

Reed: How very eloquent, best friend.

Ben: Ah, can the mush, Stretch.

Sue: How about being strong and powerful yet needing femnazi consent to conduct ourselves like women? Granted, Chris Evans needs our permission to expand his acting horizons, but that's different.

ATG; You're right and yes, it is.

Reed: What you're feeling comes down to the psychological yearn to blend into the herd under the assumption that it would make for a simpler existence. You already know that no true joy is found in a herd mentality. From cowardice and conformity. It's too unnatural for people like us.

ATG: Us, Bendy the Science Guy?

Reed: Affirmative, Grand Princess of Snark. Work-home-play-school, whatever the setting or featured players, to some extent we're always the square peg crammed into a round hole. It's isolating but invaluable.

ATG: What do you mean?

Reed: That odd-man-out feeling is a symptom of something much bigger. We view and perceive the world around us differently from most. Whether it's innovation or the written word, we couldn't do what we do without it. And if we couldn't do what we do, we'd amount to no more than animated corpses.

Johnny: Gotta say, the zombie scene's not for you. You used to be a blazing Torch with those typing fingers. Now, you're a watered down Invisible Writer Woman.

Sue: This stray vermin my parents claimed to be my brother has something vaguely resembling a point. You did used to relish in your powers like Johnny. Now, it's as if you're as unsure as Ben and I used to be about ours.

Ben: Susie and me also know firsthand what a number setbacks and heartbreak can do to ya. It ain't easy buildin' yourself back up. Gettin' all the pieces back in place won't make you whole again, though. It'll make you about a hundred times better than you ever thought possible.

ATG: I want to believe that. At least as much as I want to stop dreading I'll crumble.

Johnny: You can't forge a new fire without risking a few burns, Fire Cat.

Reed: That's how a scrawny Jewish kid from Queens became a legend.

Johnny: That's how a puny little dweeb swung right past sidekick and straight to hero.

Sue: That's how an X-traordinary team of outcasts came together.

Ben: And how the First Family of Superheroes was formed. Don't care what those creepy Bat-sneaks say.

Sue: We've been with you for more than 15 years and our two scripts combined aren't even half of what you've written in 10. You'll never fully know all the people you've touched and inspired. All the ones yet to come.

ATG: Thanks, you guys. Soooo much.

Johnny: For our biggest fan? It's the least the Definitive Four can do.

Ben: We better head back. I'm making quesadillas tonight.

Reed: Don't stretch yourself or that snark tongue too thin *heads for the radiant inter-dimensional portal*

ATG: I'm still in the 12-step program.

Ben: Speaking of which, don't do drugs.

ATG: What's that? 😇

Ben: There's the 90s kiddo we know and love.

Johnny: *Starts in after Ben but glances back* Let's get one thing straight, Fire Cat.... I'll always be your Johnny Storm. Not even those Disney-douches can change that.

ATG: And I'll always carry a torch for you.

Johnny: *Salutes and flames out*

Sue: *After the men go through* You sure you're okay?

ATG: I still can't get over how unfair it is. You're the best Marvel movie superheroine. I'm sick of the mary-sue crew stealing your rightful recognition.

Sue: Agreed and appreciated. Now, what are you gonna do about it?

ATG: 😁

Sue: 😁 Just remember, actual strong women don't cancel.

ATG: No.... We create.